The Polyam “Little M/s/r/x” series – Branding & Campaign Strategist
A social media marketing campaign focused on polyamory in partnership with Siren Pack and SpeakEasy Noir inspired by the "Little" meme series.
PolyAm Dynamics
PolyAm Dynamics
We believe in designing relationships the same way one creates art: with intention, curiosity, experimentation, and reverence for transformation. PolyAm Dynamics isn’t just a model—it’s a movement of erotic sovereignty, spiritual intimacy, and conscious connection.
An alchemical love lab and library for the curious, primordial, and free.
PolyAm Dynamics is the living body of work by Shay Au Lait. Shay explores the complex architectures of modern love, desire, and power.
PolyAm Dynamics was born from years of navigating open relationships, leading intimacy education, and witnessing how our frameworks for love either expand us — or trap us.
This series offers a language, a map, and a mirror for those daring to reimagine what love, belonging, and sovereignty can mean in a polyamorous, post-patriarchal world.
"…Bold, Intelligent, Brash, and Sexy with a dirty mouth."
- Danny Simmons; Co-Founder of Rush Philanthropic Arts Foundation
Ethos of PolyAm Dynamics
Erotic. Sensual. Pleasure.
Creative. Mindful. Intentional.
Bold. Wild. Magic.
A fluid, multidimensional framework combining erotic self-discovery, relational intelligence, and radical intentionality.
PolyAm Dynamics is not a dating guide. It is a sacred, subversive methodology for building intentional, erotic, and powerful relationships. Through five alchemical phases –Discovery, Embodiment, Connection, Architecture, and Integration – you explore not only who you love, but how you want to live, feel, and co-create your story.
Rooted in sensuality, ritual, power dynamics, and the radical freedom of polyamory, PolyAm Dynamics is a living library and experimental love lab for the wild, the curious, the primordial, and the free.
PolyAm Dynamics is a grimoire of love, power, ritual, and self-reclamation.
It bridges:
- Kink and connection
- Power and protocol
- Performance and presence
- Polyamory and primality
- Spirituality and sovereignty
We map new relational cartographies.
This lived archive is the foundation for talks, essays, courses, applications, and frameworks.
"I wanted you to know that seeing you talk openly about sex and sensuality and intimacy has helped me reach out and ask for what I want. I felt powerful in a way I don’t normally feel these days in my life and it was great. So thank you for sharing some of your journey with the world. It has emboldened me to ask for what I want and have more fun and experience more pleasure in my life."
-Anu Sansi; Life Coach
PolyAm Dynamics as a Conceptual Framework
We forge Relational Operating System. Think:
- Ceremonial Polyamory
- High Protocol Parallelism
- Ritual-Centric Relationship Dynamics
- Alchemical Partnership Design
PolyAm Dynamics = BDSM + Polyamory + Power Awareness + Racial Realism + Performance Sovereignty
We’ve created an ungoogleable lifestyle — and now we’re the ones who must write the guides.
We are no longer navigating polyamory.
We are architecting the next iteration of it.
Invite Shay to Speak or Facilitate
Keynote Address: “PolyAm Dynamics: The Emotional Science of Open Love”
Workshop: “Erotic Cartography: Mapping Your Relational Landscape”
Panel or Podcast Guest: “Sexual Sovereignty and the Future of Intimacy”
Facilitated Circle: “The Architecture of Affection — Building Love by Design”
"Shay Au Lait is a stunning example of what it means to choose pleasure as your path."
- Kit Murray; Activist, Academic, and Entrepreneur
Shay's Signature Talk Categories
Relationship Design & Polyamory
Explores: conscious relating, erotic integrity, and emotional architecture. Shay brings spiritual, sensual, and strategic insight to the complexities of love. Her approach centers communication, boundaries, and the alchemy of multiple truths.
PolyAm Dynamics: The Alchemy of Love, Power, and Devotion: Where Kink Meets Consciousness and Polyamory Becomes Practice
Parallel Doesn’t Mean Passive: The Power of Distance in Polyamory: Boundaries, Autonomy, and the Art of Sacred Separation
The Erotic Architecture of Hierarchy: Dominance, Devotion, and the Politics of Polyamorous Power
Public Love, Private Life: Performing Intimacy in Polyamorous Worlds: Shadow Work, Self-Awareness, and the Mirror of Modern Love
I Am My Own Red Flags: Visibility, Performance, and Protection for the Erotic Professional
- What Do You Want to Feel Right Now?: A Revoluntiary Approach to Dating, Sex and Relationships
- Curating Immersive and Erotic Date Nights
- The Erotic Lab: Designing Relationship Dynamics with Intention, Not Assumption
- Spreadsheets & Spreadeagle – What I Learned From Tracking Every Single Date for 5 Years
- Protection, Permission and Consent – Conversations to Have with Lovers
"Thank you. That was so many things at once. For me, the most incredible thing was seeing you hosting. That was this culmination of edgy and funny and heart and mission. Like sexy activism. All of that together. That was really special."
- Joe Richman; Founder and Executive Producer of Radio Diaries and Peabody Award Winner
BDSM, Kink & Power Dynamics
Explores: the psychology, philosophy, and artistry of power. Shay demystifies kink as a practice of self-awareness, consent, and communication. She reframes domination and submission as metaphors for leadership, creativity, and exploration.
- Would You Please Speak Your Spells? | The Rhetoric of BDSM and Kink
- Intro to BDSM & Kink: Beginning An Erotic Exploration
- BDSM and KINK for Beginners Who Are Advanced Freaks
- Consent Talks Need to Include Rejection
- Vanilla is a Flavor: You Don’t Have to Be Kinky To Be Freaky
- Gender Roles vs Power Dynamics: Kinky & BDSM Explorations
- What is A Switchress? – Embodying Fluid Freedom
- BDSM Primals – Beyond the Animals
- Bath Maiden 101: BDSM Service Tops
- Pain as Portal: Shadowplay, Spirituality & the Erotic
- Unmasking Sadism: Beyond the Flesh and Into the Psyche
Complimentary Keynote Address
In this 20-minute recorded speech, you will experience:
- “Would You Please Speak Your Spells? | The Rhetoric of BDSM and Kink,” a keynote address by Switchress Shay Au Lait. This speech was delivered during “Tongue and Cheek,” which is Queer Positive. Sex Positive. Kink Positive. It’s a speaker series focused on art, science, history, education, and culture within the queer community.
- Experts and amateurs are invited to present on topics near and dear to them! Everyone deserves a voice in this community and it is their goal to create and sustain a kind, inclusive space for these voices.
Select Special Projects
Also, head to the Keynote Speaker page to see a detailed overview of the topics Shay covers in workshops, classes, retreats, intensives, and events as a host, panelist, moderator, facilitator and/or speaker.
The Mindful Swinger series – Producer & Moderator
An interactive podcast series and live experience from the House of SpeakEasy Noir, The Mindful Swinger invites you into candid, conscious conversations about swinging, nonmonogamy, kink, and erotic exploration.
SuciaNYC Consent series – Co-Host and Panelist
A 4-Part “Consent Panel” Series co-curated and co-led by SuciaNYC & Switchress Shay Au Lait. During the series, Shay served as both a panelist and a co-host.
"She’s a survivor in every sense of the word. She has one of the most inspiring stories I’ve ever heard when it comes to sexual healing. The way she was able to uncover and reclaim her erotic power after trauma is nothing short of magical."
- Ev’Yan Whitney; Sexuality Doula and Somatic Practitioner
Ideal Collaborations:
Leadership conferences seeking nontraditional frameworks of empowerment.
Creative and wellness festivals integrating spirituality and embodiment.
Universities and institutions exploring gender, art, or identity studies.
Private leadership retreats, brand intensives, and thought-leadership summits.
Booking Details
- Format: Keynotes, panels, workshops, retreats, masterclasses, immersive performances
- Audience: Creatives, educators, wellness professionals, erotic artist, entrepreneurs, and liberationists
- Fees: Custom quotes based on format, travel, and time commitment
"Thank you so much for speaking with my daughter and I earlier. It totally meant a lot. You truly have a second calling counseling young girls. Helping talk parents and teens through sex, relationships and intimacy. I'm glad she could get that Siren view. Its funny, but I trust you with her and this topic more than most women I've dated. You know you and are comfortable with sexuality in a way most will never know...."
- M.Dodson; Father & Patron
Testimonials and Reviews
“Ok….because of you, I have researched Yoni eggs, looked for Tough Mudders in my area, started journaling again, and accepted some ugly truths about myself by doing a deep dive of ME. So thank you for being so transparent and helping me become a better version of myself. I’m growing every day. ❤” – Jessica; Event Attendee
“You’re going to adore this interview, it was profound and a little sexy. Shay Au Lait has an amazing way of explaining how she has taken the experiences she has had through pole dancing, finding her inner sex Goddess, becoming empowered and unafraid to show up and hold her own space, into every single area of her life. It’s amazing. I mean, just look at her website, is there anything she can’t do?” – Allana Pratt; Intimacy and Relationship Coach
“Shay Au Lait is a female power-house of authentic presence who is constantly looking within + inspiring others through her own experiences.” – Megan Monique; Meditation Teacher, Intutive Coach and Entrepreneur
“She’s a friend. A very highly respected friend of mine. ….She’s my idol, actually. I love her. The way she writes the openness of her life. Her sexual encounters. The way that she carries herself. Her business aspect. We share similar paths and bonded over that. I admire her a lot. I never really told her that but she’s changed a lot of things in my life from the way I date to my extracurricular activities. Shay Au Lait is a bold unapologetic woman and I appreciate every word in her world that she shares.” – Notorius Coleman, Lifestyle & Natural Hair Vlogger
“The Last Speaker was….Shay Au Lait. She was an awesome speaker of truth and motivation. She spoke about getting back to your authentic self. This was such a moving and honest talk. I felt everyone was moved in some way.” – Damita Miller-Shanklin; Editor in Chief, Ujima Magazine
“Feel free to take my wife for deep sensual talks anytime! You sent her back stimulated & ready. Much appreciated” – M. Clarke; Husband of Event Attendee
“In so many words, Shay inspired me to become more intentional about my life. She inspired me to actively seek out pleasure in my own life. She called me out on my B.S when I was acting small and not respecting my wants/needs. She has been extremely empathic, allowing me to see parts of herself that related to me when I wasn’t being fair or honest with myself. She answered some questions I had given her regarding a job search that I was undergoing at the time through a live broadcast on Facebook. She told me to be intentional, once again, and inspired me to see myself as a brand rather than just an employee. I followed her instructions, and I was employed shortly after.” – Deanna C; Patron & Community Member
“Yo Shay! We met so long ago at that [event]. I just wanted to tell you that I read your posts all the time. To me, as a man, they teach me so much about women and sexuality on a whole. Honestly, I listen to guys talk about sex and I’m like ‘Dude needs to read Shay Au Lait, no wonder his ex is not around anymore.’ But what’s more is that I think your voice is empowering women. You encourage healthy discourse that gets women comfortable talking about things that they should be anyway. It’s blunt, but damn it, it’s got to be! If everyone could talk about sex that way, I think we’d all be happier. Anyway that’s my deal, keep up the great work! Hope you’re well!” – T.R.; Songwriter
About Switchress Shay Au Lait
Founder of PolyAm Dynamics | Vulnerability Doula | Intellectual Sensual Shaman
Bio:
Switchress Shay Au Lait is a visionary thought leader at the intersection of sensuality, psychology, and power dynamics. Known as a Vulnerability Doula and Intellectual Sensual Shaman, Shay guides individuals, lovers, and communities through the art of conscious connection—where intellect meets intimacy and desire becomes a tool for transformation.
As the Founder of PolyAm Dynamics, Shay invites the world to rethink what it means to love with intention, curiosity, and sovereignty. Her work unites emotional intelligence, kink philosophy, and relational design to help people build aligned, expansive constellations of connection. She believes that polyamory isn’t simply about the freedom to love many – it’s about the courage to know oneself deeply enough to hold many truths at once.
With over twenty years in performance and erotic arts, and more than a decade in professional BDSM and relationship education, Shay’s career spans cabaret, kink, and consciousness. She is the creative force behind SpeakEasy Noir, a ritual brand blending erotic wellness, sensual movement, and storytelling, and Siren Pack Productions, an avant-garde collective curating immersive, high-end cabaret and kink experiences.
Co-Founder of the Black Kink Network (BKN) and recurring speaker with the Institute for Sex Education & Enlightenment (ISEE), Shay’s work foregrounds liberation, embodiment, and power within Black and marginalized communities. She is also the Co-Creator of Sensing Race, an embodied intensive exploring identity and intimacy through somatic practice.
Her teachings, workshops, and keynote talks—such as “PolyAm Dynamics: The Alchemy of Love, Power, and Devotion” and “The Mindful Swinger”—bridge spirituality, sensuality, and systems thinking. Shay’s practical and philosophical approach has earned her nicknames like “BaDonkaMonk,” “Cultural Provocateur,” and “The Maya Angelou of Kink.”
Her work has been featured in Essence Magazine (as a national Sexpert), CNN, “Office With A View,” FuseTV’s “Sex Sells,” Luxury Travel Advisor Magazine, and at institutions such as the National Liberty Museum and The Rowe Center.
Through her projects and philosophy, Shay offers an erotic literacy for the modern age – one that merges somatic wisdom with emotional precision, and pleasure with purpose.
Welcome to PolyAm Dynamics—where liberation meets love, and the sacred meets the strategic.